Date: 31st August, 2004

Blast of Emotion: Somewhere between weary and accomplished

Groovy Tune: "Inilah Barisan Kita" ( A patriotic song)

Current Obsession: my mum

Starting time: 6:36 p.m.

Can you believe it!?? They wanted us to reach school by 5:30 a.m. in the morning!! I mean, get real! If I had to reach by 5:30 a.m., it means I had to wake up somewhere around 4 in the morning and I'm not willing to compromise. So, I figured out a way. I made a few calls and in the blink of an eye, I don't need to reach there that early after all.

So, I was scheluded to take a lift with the LRT ( Light Rail Transport ). In other words, I can have all the time I want getting up. In the end, I did get up unceromoniously late : 6:30 a.m. To be entirely thruthful, I'm not one who hitch a lift with the LRT everyday, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. In a year alone, you can count with your fingers the number of time I did so.

So, I managed to get myself in trouble. I reached to station at about 6:40 a.m. Dad gave me instrustions to take the train on the other side and so, while trying to get to the other side, I managed to find the wrong staircase and thus, delay a few more precious minutes. While 'struggling' in the staircase, I met a few men. My god, they do look scary in the dark. I cabut lari ( run!!!) Not that they'll do any harm ( who knows?) I found the right staircase leading to the train and managed to board it with not a second to lose.

While in the train, I was a subject of much curiosity. Dressed in a bright green garment, hair tied in a bun and looking extremely breathless, I think I do provoke a sense of curiosity in some people. I also am count the number of stops the train'll be making. After a swift 10 minutes in the train, I got down, looking for May Yean. We had promised each other to reach the Masjid Jamek station by 6:45 a.m., and now it's already 6:50. But, there's not a familiar face in sight!

Again, strange thoughts clouded my head. Had they abandon me 'cause I was late? If they did, should I walk alone to the dataran Merdeka? I am not so sure about the latter, for eventhough it was not a long walk, it'll still be my first time walking a distance. Anyway, after 5 minutes and till stucked with decision, I approached the guard on duty and ask wheter he saw any schoolgirls wearing green shirts. Negative. I further ask for the route to the Dataran Merdeka ( he gave me a calculating look, cause almost every teenager in town can memorise the twisting roads in KL, apatah lagi me now who's asking for the route when it's only 500 metres away). But he was very helpful. He told me to walk straight on. I was starting to walk when the next train board in. And, surprise, surprise, there and then was May Yean!!! WHOOOOPEEE! Relief washed over me. For, I rather walk with a partner in the dark. We waited for another arrival before setting out.

We reached the Dataran by 7:15 a.m. Everyone's already enjoying their free food. We managed to gobble down some, and then everyone to their positions!!! It's starting!! We sang, we marched through crowds of waving supporters, parents, kids, babies, horse poo, cameras filming, the mayor looking on. All the time, we're shouting at the top of our voices kiri! kanan, kiri kanan (left, right, left, right )!!In the end, we did not win any cash prizes nor any claps. However, me myself and another Gir l Guider managed to get our faces in the news that night. A 'My News Network' ( NTV7)reporter interviewed her, and I just squeezed in.  But it still proved a memorable day. But, MY day had yet to end.

I took the school's bus home. Reached school at 10:45a.m. Dad said to pick me up at 11:00a.m. I waited, 11:00 came and go. Still, he's not in sight. I ponder the possibility of him involving in a accident. He did not answer. I called the house, no one picked up. At final last, I ring mum's phone ( we're still at war ), and the only thing I heard was the voice message system. And it's getting late, it's almost 11:45a.m. already. I wondered that since, IF he's really busy ( like in the hospital or something ) I should get home via the LRT, or even the bus ( if I do, then I have the freedom to go anyway ). When the amazing thought came upon me, still he did not materialise in front of me. By 12:00 p.m., I changed a RM 1 note into small change, with the thought of having my own adventure somewhere in the heart of the city. But, I still do not dare. What if he's only merely terribly late? How will I explain my absence? So, I waited on, guilt pulling me down, with an expectant look on my face everytime a Waja car passes by.

Finally, by 12:30p.m., he appeared, with no reason whatsoever of his lateness. I did not prod on, for mum's there. No, did she give me any answers. I found out later of the day from lil' sis, that they've gone to the Butterfly park, and I can imagine that they've forgotten. I mean, I'm just an outsider, right? When your'e having war with Mum, you're considered not a part of the family....

Ending time: 7:04 p.m.

Burst of emotion: bored

Groovy tune: Olympics closing ceremony

Current addiction: Marching tomorrow

What else to spend the coming hols other than watching live, repeated Olympics from Astro Supersport? That's exactly what I did, and also a few other movies from Astro ( ex: Kim Possible). Olympics was, no other words to describe: Olympian! It had people crying foul, it had people shouting joy. I find no need to mention about the performances of Malaysian's atheletes, for they did superbly well, minus they depressing scores. Elain was a dissapointment, actually. She was shielded from all the so-called media glare by remaining in Malayisia when all the others had gone to the Games, thus making us believe that she's the ONE: the Malaysian hope. But, she lost in the first round not even exceeding 10 minutes. So, by her downfall, ends Malaysian's superiority over lesser countries. Bryan was a surprise. He was never a medal hope. But, however, he ended no. 19th out of 35 divers, failing to reach the final, but like I said, he was no medal hope. But, he had showed us that he CAN go the distance.

Other than watching Olympics, there's also new episodes of Kim Possible!! Nothing's IMPOSSIBLE for a POSSIBLE!! Nah, I think I'm to childish if I mention my favourite episodes over here, so we'll leave it blank, ok?

k..........

Then, I also had to look forward to the coming Independence Day marching. We're to marched past the town mayor( I do NOT even know we had one), salute, march round the whole of Dataran Merdeka( translated: Independence Field), wait at the field while others march past, and strain our legs as it has to stand still and wait. Anyway, no doubt, it was fun. For three days, and for three hours of the three days, we had to arise b4 6:15 a.m., for we're supposed to reach the school by that time. Then, the bus'll fetch us to the marching site, and we'll be provided with free food AND drinks( it's free, but I never said it's everyone's dream food), then we'll have to march. My group( the Girl Guides) are in the 8th group. In front of us are the Bank Rakyat marchers ( they have nice little orange shoes, so we prefer calling they the "orange-shoes"), and behind the Jabatan Ukur dan Pemetaan. The "orange-shoes" are a bunch of naughty adults. They know very well that we are kids( below 18!!) and still they'll smoke right in front of us and wafts of nicotine'll fill our lungs and we'll be making coughing sounds. But, luckily, no cases of hospital-emergencies, not yet. However, they are fun, too.

I'm loaded with a lot of schoolwork for the holidays, but surprise, surprise, not one was completed. I continue ignoring the woman I call mother, and she's the same with me. 

Y'wanna know something. I think I'm accident-prone. I had always had accidents during the wrong time. There was this once, I was a newly appointed prefect in my primary school. I wanted to make a good impression upon oneself. Two teachers are walking down my road. I rushed towards them, intending to say "G'morning", and all I did was making a spectacle of myself. I ran, 'bout a few inches away, I fell, jatuh tersungkur, my leg went out below me, and I fell flat on my back. The teachers were too surprised to either laugh or help, in the end they did both. A lot of mishaps too, did happen. But, th recent one was I prick my skin with a needle.

I was refilling the colour printer ink ( refills are much cheaper), when suddenly the sharp needly prick my skin. And the point it pricked was about a centimetre from the artery ( the wrist artery). Since the needle wasn't big, so the blood did not flood my wrist. But, I had an aching pain there, and I'm scheluded to march in the Independence Day tomorrow!!!

Happy 4th of July 31st of August,everyone!

p.s: actually, I don't give a damn 'bout marching, I just wanted the certificate given out to the participants.

We stopped talking to each other after the "incidence". Usually, I'm not the one doing the consoling. After a day or two, things'll gradually grow back to normal, fights don't last. We'll be as happy as two lovers under a sun....

The fight happened partly because of my fault. We were watching the Olympics Opening Ceremony. You know the part where the last runner have to run up a flight of stairs to light the enourmous torch on top? Anyway, I was commenting that if that person happens to be her, she'll never make it. She'll be panting halfway up. Anyway, she started taking things seriously. Said something about how she was not appreciated and some other things like "you think you can make it?" Anyway, all I got as a result of my passing comment was a huge red mark on my face. I got a slap.

Day after that, she suddenly bursts into my room and went on saying how bad-mannered I was. And she threatened to stop some of the privileges I had been receiving. And somehow, one way or another, dad was included in the fight.

Anyway, day after next was fine. Fine day, fine morning. In case you still haven't figure out, "she" is my mother. Like I said, she'll be the one doing the consoling. However, that didn't happen. Well, I don't mind, no big deal. The less fuss, the better.

However, things stop being friendly around me and her. We don't talk to each other, we only aknowledge each other's presence. Well, since she doesn't talk to me, the chores I'm receiving are also decreasing. Fun, fun, fun!! What else to celebrate the holidays with free choreless days??

21st August, marks the 1st week annivesary of our Cold War. It's exactly a week after the Olympics Ceremony incident. And still, our communication's waning, day by day. Sometimes, I miss her. I miss the way she always todl me to eat fish (I'm fussy around those scaly little things, cuz of their bones) and she'll peel their flesh away from the bones and lay them on my dinner plate. And sometimes, she'll ask me whether I've taken my vitamins. On other occasions, she'll tell me of her day at work and I'll tell her of mine at school. None of these happens anymore.

Both of us are too arrogant to give in a little. Me, especially. What kind of daughter am I. I did not even bring glory to my family, nor even luck and now, I'm cutting off relationship with mum. Some of you would say " tell mum you're sorry"...well it's much more easier saying it than doing it. Like I said, mum's the one doing the consoling.

Sometimes, I would hide my face in bed and cry. Telling myself that I'm stupid and foolish for continuing this 'war', that tomorrow, I'll go straight up to her and apologise. But, that day never comes. Dad even made a special request for us to reconcile, but I was never brave to take the first step.

People say, cherish what you have today, for it may be gone tomorrow. I wanted to, but I'm a goddamn idiot!!!  

Superstitious, am I? That's what the blog heading might read in most people's mind. Nah....

Friday, the 13th...most people thought as a bad day. A day when most terrible things ought to happen...the day that maybe the world will end. I just carry on my life as normal as possible, that is until something BAD happen to me...

I was in the hall, waiting for rehearsal to start. You see, we had to act in front of a camcorder so that we can view our own acting. Anyway, that time, I was watching people act. I put my spectacles in my jeans pocket and continue viewing. Everything was mixed-up but still fun. Music's coming from the piano on the left, where a talented friend of mine was busy trying to keep up with people's requests of different songs. I enjoyed the whole scenery. The sudden change of music.....people running around chansing one another....people acting out their lines and verses...and other people doing this and that.

Up till then, nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. I took out my spectacles, I need to look at something at a further distance. My spectacles when to my face. Suddenly, a sudden crash on the floor holt me back to my senses. My spectacles had broken.

The whole world came crashing down upon me. Mum'll be mad. No, mum'll be furious!! Eventhough it's my first specs, it'll still cost all the trouble to get a new one. The frame's broken but the lens are still in one piece. It seems that my jeans' pocket too small and the pressure had pushed against the specs and thus, you know the story.

When the Olympics 2000 was held in Sdyney, Asutralia four years ago, I was like most people in the entire world. Don't know, don't care. You see, sports' not my major priority nor is it a minor, it's just some competition set to enthrall people across the world. But, no me......period.

However, for this forthcoming Olympics season, I followed the whole thing. I read about past heroes and heroeins, I searched about past world records and Olympics records, I analysed about the sports persons Malaysia's sending, and I watch the documentaries on Astro.

The heroes and heroiens, it seems are / were legendary. They were those who inspired others to follow in their footsteps. They were those who made sports headlines every sports season, but most importantly, they're those who recommend sports to other people in the world. They range from the famous Romanian gymnast, Nadia Commenaci, who with her 7 perfect 10s was and still is the only gymnast to score a 10, to the famous atheletics men runner, Michael Johnson who thrilled the world with his up-right body while running a bend. There's too many to count, but all of them had contributed to the Olympics that we know now.

Michael Phelps, the 19-year-old teenager who made a claim that he would try to overcome Mark Spitz's record of 7 golds in one Olympics. And also Yao Ming, the 2.62m of a basketballer representing China, that he would remain unshaven for 6 months if China failed to make it to the semis. Will they be able to live up their name....or otherwise....??

And Malaysia's also'll be sending her own best among the best athletes to compete. They are the best in the mainland, but will they clinch a medal in the Olympics?? The badminton team hopeful, from world men singles no.3 Wong Choon Hann, world men doubles no.1 Tan Fook-Wan Wah, and also the recent Malaysian Open men champion, Lee Chong Wei, will they fuffill Malaysian hopes of a gold medal?? Elain Teo, a taekwondo black belter, sports headlines had been betting their hopes on her. And also Josiah Ng, the cyclist, he'll look good in a gold medal after all the silver medal that he've collected from past world championships. We also have the youngest every participant, 12-year-old Bryan Nickson Loman, the diver...he may seem young, but he might be the ONE. But, honestly, I don't think so. Anyway, in the swimming event, Allan Ong, and Alex will be tough competitiors.

All of Malaysian hopes will be rested upon their shoulders. Will they be able to lived up our dreams.... or crumble down defeated? Only fate itself knows the answer. But, some things aren't meant to be fated.

Whatever the case, we have the famous Kodak slogan to inspire us..."it's okay...it's alright...go Malaysia...fight..fight...FIGHT!!!"